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DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Lar^e Catalogue Free. 
Price 15c each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron, Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, ZYi hrs (25c) 8 8 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1^ 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 4 4 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2J^ 

hrs. (25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 5 
As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2V2 hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^4 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (25c) 8 5 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, ly^^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

College Town, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 9 8 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. 

(25c) 17 14 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . 7 4 
Daughter of the -Desert, 4 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 21/2 

hrs v25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 

Enchanted Wood, 1|4 h.(35c).Optnl. 
EveryyoUth, 3 acts, IJ/^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 6 

Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

Fascinators, 40 min .(25c) 13 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

11/2 hrs (25c) 9 14 

Hiiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

.•• • hrs (25c) 8 4 

iHigh School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2^2. 

hrs (25c) 13 4 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2 '4 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
Jayville Junction, IVg hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2^4 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Lexington, 4 acts, 254 h..(25c) 9 4 



M. F. 

Light Brigade, 40 min (25c) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 hr. (25c)13 
Lonelyville Social (Zlub, 3 acts, 

lYz hrs (25c) 10 

Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 5 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2^/^ 

hrs (25c) 9 5 

Mirandy's Minstrels (25c) Optnl. 

New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr.... 3 6 
Old Maid's Club, 1^ hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c"> 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

114 hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little, Big Horn, 4 acts, 

21/2 hrs. (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Pi-airie Rose, 4 acts, 2J^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2J4 

hrs (25c) 10 12 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^4 hrs. 6 5 
Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 
Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, ly^ h. 8 3 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, 25^ 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h.(25c) 6 4 
Town Marshal, 4 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 6 3 

Ti-ip to Storyland, 1^ hrs. (25c) 17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. (25c) 5 3 
Women Who Did, 1 hr. . . (25c) 17 
Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES. COIMEDIETAS, Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min....... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 S 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W.Randolph St., Chicago 



OH, DOCTOR! 



A MINSTREL AFTERPIECE 



BY 

HARRY L. NEWTON 

AUTHOR OF 

'A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy," "The Booster Club of Black- 
ville," 'A Colored Honeymoon," "The Coontown Thirteen Club," - 
"The Darktown Fire Brigade," "The Goodfcllow," "Good 
Mornin', Judge," "The Heiress of Hoetozvn," "Jayville 
Junction," "Laughland, via the Ha Ha Route," 
"Memphis Mose, War Correspondent," "Min- 
strel Cross-Fire," "A Rehearsal at Ten," 
"What Happened to Hannah," Etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



^^^-^^"^ 1 



OH, DOCTOR! 

CHARACTERS. 

Hezekiah Quack, M. D The Cause of It All 

Sam Green The Smart Servant 

Birmingham Brown The Stupid Servant 

Atlanta White The Dyspeptic 

Norfolk Black The Rheumatic 

Hannibal Grey The Deaf Patient 

Arabella Snow The Blase Patient 

Mrs. Hannah Squash The BUxom Patient 

Note. — All characters are black-face. The two women, 
Arabella and Hannah, should be played by men. 

Scene — A Doctor's Office. 

Time — This Afternoon. 

'\ \ Place — Any Town, Any State. 

Time of Playing — About Thirty Minutes. 



copyright, 1915, BY EBBN IL. NORRIS. 



©CLD 41350 
2 

JUL 29 1915 -M)/. 



OH, DOCTOR! 



PROPERTIES. 



Bottles on sideboard ; large book on table ; door bell and 
revolver to be used off stage ; tub, funnel, rubber hose, 
dipper, butcher knife, hatchet, and saw under table; two 
pails of water and a slap stick for Brown and Green; 
spectacles and cane for Quack ; pneumatic pad for White ; 
ear trumpet for Grey ; red lantern for Mrs. Squash. Cane 
for Black. 



COSTUMES. 

Hezekiah Quack — Dressing gown, slippers and skull 
cap, change to rusty black suit, white vest and high hat. 
He is old and fussy, absent-minded and near-sighted. 

Sam Green — Black, short, tight trousers, green socks 
and low shoes ; waiter's white coat. Works fast and 
snappy. 

Birmingham Brown — Ad lib costume. Works slow and 
droll as a contrast to Green. 

Atlanta White — Young man, business suit, gloves 
and walking stick. Rather affected in manner and speech ; 
effeminate. 

Norfolk Black — Middle-aged man ; special costume not 
essential. One leg is swathed in bandages and enlarged to 
several times its ordinary size, under the outside bandage 
is placed a block of wood to avoid injury when he is struck 
with cane ; he hobbles painfully and with the aid of a heavy 
cane. 

Hannibal Grey — Old man, very hard of hearing; car- 
ries an ear trumpet. 

Arabella Snow — Part to be played by an extremely 
thin man. The dress worn must fit the figure like a glove. 
Shoes are large and grotesque. Short sleeves to dress, 
elbow length and wrist gloves. Small hat with very long 



4 OH, DOCTOR! 

feather sticking straight up. The entire effect to be gro- 
tesque and as ludicrous as possible. 

Mrs. Hannah Squash — To be played by an extremely 
fat man, making a ridiculous contrast to Arabella Snow. 
Wears everything to accentuate his size. Hoop skirt, 
flounces, large hat, etc. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

' R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
L., left ; 1 E., first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. 3 E., 
right entrance, up stage, etc.; R. D., right door; L. D., left 
door, etc. ; D. F., door in flat or back of the stage ; up stagC; 
away fromx footlights ; down stage, near footlights; 1 G., first 
groove, etc. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 



OH, DOCTOR! 



Scene: A doctor's office. Box setting, zvith practical 
doors R. and L. and door in hack flat opening onto street. 
At hack, L. of C, is a sidehoard containing bottles, glasses 
and a hottle of pills. At L. is a large Japanese screen. At 
R. is a long tahle covered over with a zvhite sheet, reaching 
to floor on audience side. Under tahle there are a number 
of tools: sazv, hammer, hatchet, monkey-wrench, etc., etc.; 
also a large slap-stick. Under tahle are also a tin funnel, 
piece of rubber hose, tin dipper and a small zvash tub. At 
C. is a small table on zvhich is a large ledger or hotel 
register. 

At rise, enter Quack, L. 

Quack (calling). Sam! Birmingham! Where the deuce 
are you, you lazy scamps ! You're never 'round when I 
want you. Sam ! Birmingham ! 

Enter Green, R., followed by Brown. The latter is 
yawning and stretching lazily. Just inside door he closes 
eyes and goes fast asleep. Plenty of action is required in 
ensuing scene. 

Green {to Quack). Yo' all call me, sah? 

Quack (testily). Call you? What do you suppose I've 
been doing? Certainly I called you. I want my glasses. I 
can't find them anywhere. (JJis glasses are pushed up on 
his forehead. He and Green search for them. The latter 
looks in improbable places.) Strange. Things have a pe- 
culiar habit of turning up missing lately. 

Green (at sidehoard, searching among bottles). Dat's 
a candid fac', sah. I done notice dat mahself, sah. 

Quack (suddenly discoz'ering Green at sideboard). 
Here, here ; none of that, sir. Those are not the kind of 
glasses I am looking for. 

■ Green (coming to Quack, looks at glasses on his fore- 
head and bursts into violeiit laughter. Quack, mystified, 

5 



6 OH, DOCTOR! 

looks all about and behind him for the cause of Green's 
merriment. Finally). Thar they be, Doctor; thar they be; 
on yer forehead. {Removes glasses from his forehead and 
hands them to Quack.) 

Quack {testily). Now who the devil put my glasses 
there ? 

Green {indicating Brown, zvho is sound asleep at door), i 
Him, Doc. He's de one. ' 

Quack {pu,ts on glasses and peers over top of them at 
Brown). Impossible! He's sound asleep. 

Green. Yes, sah; dat's de bestest thing he does — ^be- 
sides eat. 

Quack. Well, wake him up. I want you boys to hurry 
and help me get into my street clothes. I'm goin' away for 
the day. Hurry up, now. 

Green {hustling about). Yes, sah; yes, sah. {Goei to 
Brown and kicks him violently.) Heah, yo', wake up! De 
Doctor am gwine away. (Brown almost falls as he wakes 
up stiddenly.) Git de Doctor's hat. Git de Doctor's goat — 
Ah mean, his coat. (Green and Brown bitstle about, get- 
ting Quack's hat, coat, cane, etc., taking off his dressing 
gown, slippers and skull-cap and dressing him in his street 
clothes. Brown clowns everything he does, stumbling, ■ 
falling and getting in the way, trying to put one of Quack's . 
shoes on his head instead of his hat, etc., etc. Finally the 
Doctor is ready to depart.) 

Quack {at C. D.). Now, boys, I expect a lot of patients 
in today and I want you to take the best of care of 'em. 

Green. Oh, we'll do dat all right, all right. 

Brown {yazvning). Me, too. 

Quack. I don't anticipate that you will have any trouble. 
If you want to know anything, just look in the book there. 
{Indicates large book on table.) This book will tell you 
anything you want to know. 

Green. Yo' don't need to worry. Ah'll look in de book. 

Brown. Me, too. {Yazvns.) 

Quack. Remember, boys, be good — and look in the 
book. I'll return as soon as I can. {Exit CD.) 

Green {calls after him). Yes, sah; you'll return when i 



OH, DOCTOR! 7 

yo' come back. (Turns suddenly and slaps Brown vio- 
lently on his back.) Birmingham Brown, Ah. done got me 
some idea. 

Brown. Give it to me, and Ah'll chase it up a dark 
alley. 

Green. Heah am de idea. De Doctor am gone, and in 
his absence Ah shall be de Doctor. Ah'll treat de patient 
patients and yo' shall be my assistant. 

Brown. Go on, man; what yo' know 'bout machinery? 

Green. Nothin'. Dat's why Ah'll make a good doctor. 
Besides, all we got to do is look in de book. Didn't de 
Doctor say: "Look in de book?" Didn't he done say dem 
words to us? 

Brown. Yes, he done say, ''Look in de book." He did, 
fer a fac'. 

Green. Den heah we go. (Bustles about, picks up the 
Doctor's discarded dressing gozvn and skull-cap and dons 
them.) Behold! Doctor Quack! (Comedy pose.) 

Brown (admiringly). By golly, yo' look jes' like him. 
(Bell rings off C.) 

Green (excitedly). Here's one of de patient patients 
now. Listen. Yo' answer de bell, Ah retires behind yon- 
der screen. Yo' find out what's de mattah wid him and 
how much money he got, den yo' calls me. 

Brown. Aftah Ah. gits his money? 

Green. No, no ; yo' jes' find out how much money he 
got, den Ah comes out and gits it. 

Brown. Dat don't sound good to mah. 

Green. Yo' know me, don't yo? 

Brown. Yes. Dat's why it don't sound good to mah. 
(Bell rings violently.) 

Green. Step lively now. (Runs behind screen, mounts 
a chair and looks over the top.) Vanish ! And remember de 
money. (Brown, grumbling, exits CD.) 

Re-enter Brown, follozved by Atlanta White. White 
takes center stage and stands staring stupidly at audience, 
both hands grasping cane, zvith handle in his mouth. He 
maintains this position until spoken to by Brown. 



8 ' OH, DOCTOR! 

Green (over top of screen, to Brown). Fo' de love of 
chicken gizzards, who left de door open ? 

Brown. Dat's yo' fault. Yo' tole me to bring it in. 

Green. Is it a-live? 

Brown. Ah don't know. Ah'm a stranger 'round heah 
mahself. 

Green. Well, go find out. 

Brown. Ah reckon Ah better look in de book, like de 
Doctor say. 

Green. Go on, man. Give him de once-over and den 
de up and down. 

Brown. Ah will ; but Ah, got mo' confidence in de 
book. {Approaches White in cautious, comedy manner 
and taps him gently on one shoulder.) 

White (removes cane from mouth, stares at Brown an 
instant, then with cane taps Brown on shoidder in an ef- 
feminate manner.) Take th^t, sir. How dare you strike 
me? (Green, behind screen, almost falls off chair and 
shrieks with laughter.) 

Brown (to Green). Say, will Ah kill it, or let it sufifer? 

Green. Look in de book. 

Brown (to White). Well, what yo' all want? 

White. I am a very sick man. 

Brown. Yo' look it. But what's sick wid yo' sickness? 

White. Here; my stomach. (Covers stomach with both 
hands.) 

Brown. Did yo' bring yo' stomach wid yo'? (Green 
coughs loudly.) Yo' jes' stand still a minute moment. 
Dat's de doctor now. 

Green (to Brown^ aside). Find out how much he's got. 

Brown (to Green, aside and knowingly) . Jes' leave it 
to me. (To White.) Say, how much stomach yo' got? 
(White stares in amazement at Brown.) 

Green (aside, to Brown). No, no ; yo' mutt! How much 
money — money ! 

Brown (disgustedly to Green). Ah reckon yo' better 
come and git him. Ah'm 'fraid to be left alone wid him 
any longer. 

Green (clears throat, comes from behind screen, 



11 



OH, DOCTOR! 9 

straightens clothing and assumes a professional, dignified 
air). Ah, Birmingham; Ah sees yo' has admitted a patient. 
Yo' should has called me. (Goes to White and peers into 
his face.) Aha!- Yo' has stomach trouble. 

White (amazed). Wonderful, Doctor! Simply won- 
derful! How could you tell? 

Green. Why, it's awfully simple — 

Brown. Yes — simply awful. 

White. It is quite oh, quite true. I have a bad stomach. 
Could you give me something for a bad stomach, Doctor? 
(Groans and places a hand on his stomach.) 

Green. Yes, Ah could, but Ah won't. 

White. And why won't you. Doctor? 

Green. 'Cause Ah don't want yo' bad stomach. 

Brown. No ; he's got one of his own. 

Green. Now den we got to git busy. Jes' take a seat 
while Ah hold a consultation wid mail assistant. (He zvhis- 
pers in Brown^s ear.) 

Brown. Look in de book. (Brown and Green grab 
book from table, slam it on floor, throzv themselves flat on 
stomachs. Green turns leaves of hook rapidly, repeating 
the zvord ''stomach.'') 

Green (stops turning leaves and looks up at White). 
Did yo' say stomach ? 

White (rocks back and forth in seeming agony, holds 
hand on stomach and rolls eyes). Yes, yes. Doctor. Please 
hurry; I'm growing faint. 

Brown. By golly, dis book ain't got no stomach. 

Green. Hold on; heah 'tis. (Reads from book.) *'De 
bestest thing fo' a bad stomach is plenty of water." Dat's 
de very idea. Water! (Brown and Green scramble to 
their feet, seize White, carry him bodily to long table and 
lay him flat. Green gets funnel and rubber hose from un- 
der table. He apparently forces funnel into Whitens 
mouth, connects rubber hose to it and then yells to Brown 
to get the zvater. Brown dashes to door R., reaches in, 
gets two pails of zvater and staggers to table zvith them. 
Green, zvith dipper, dips zvater from pails and pours it 
down funnel. The hose connects with washtub under 



10 OH, DOCTOR! 

to,hle so the water is not spilled upon floor. White begins to 
yell in lusty fashion. Green empties both pails of water 
into funnel. A pneumatic pad may he placed under 
White's vest and gradually be blozvn up as water is emp- 
tied into funnel. This is a hysterical scene when properly 
zvorked up. Green, after last bit of zvater). Thar yo' be. 
(Yanks White from table.) Now yo' is all cured. 

Brown. And now git out of heah. (Grabs White by 
coat collar and seat of trousers and runs him out of C. D. 
A loud crash follozvs his exit.) 

Green. Lordy, Lordy ! He done broke somethin'. 

Brown. Say, maybe it was a ten-dollar bill. 

Green (as it suddenly dawns on him that they didn't 
get any money from White, claps one hand on his head and 
the other on his heart). Oh, Lordy, Lordy! 

Brown (startled). What's de mattah? Yo' all got a 
sickness? What'U Ah do — give yo' de water or look in de 
book. 

Green. We am a couple of doggone fools. We gits no 
money from dat patient. 

Brown. Now yo' make me sick. 

Green., Well, yo' don't give me no appetite, nuther. 
(Door bell rings.) 

Brown. What's dat? 

Green. Another patient. Fer de love of chicken gib- 
lets, git de money fust dis time. (Runs beJund screen.) 

Brown (at C. D., calls off R.). Right dis way, sah; 
de doc. am waitin'. (Door hell rings again.) 

Green (over top of screen). Say, if dey don't come 
when yo' calls, drag 'em in. We needs de money. 

Brown (yelling off R.). Come in; come in! Doggone 
yo' — come on in, de water's fine! (Door bell rings the third 
time, he exits.) 

Re-enter /Qroy^i^ immediately with Hannibal Grey. 

Grey (zvith ear trumpet to ear). Hey? What yo' say? 
Brown (disgustedly, to Green). How yo' gwine git 
money from a guy what can't heah yo' ask him f o' it ? 
Grey. Is de doctor in? 



I 



OH, DOCTOR! 11 

Brown, No, he's out — out 'bout ten dollars, but he'll 
be in befo' he gits through wid yo'. Somethin' yo wants? 

Grey (trumpet to ear). Hey? (Green works up scene.) 

Brown (disgustedly) . Yo' make me sick. 

Grey. Oh, I see. He'll be in pretty quick. 

Brown (yelling in trumpet). Has yo' got any money? 

Grey. Hey ? Oh, no ; it's kinder cloudy out ; it was 
sunny. Well, Ah won't keep yo' no longer. Jes' tell de 
doctor Ah called. Goodby. 

Brown (grabs him). No, you don't. We gotta per- 
form yo' some operation. (Aside.) We gotta git 'bout ten 
bones out of yo'. (Green clears throat, comes from behind 
screen, assumes professional manner and goes to Grey. 
He grabs him by the zurist and places his head against his 
breast, as if listening to Grey's heart beat.) 

Green (raising head). Aha! Jes' as Ah thought. Yo' 
gotta magnified rendition of de elephantis, which created 
a tendency ter obligate de modus-opera of yo' fryin'-pan. 

Brown (aside). Nix, man; he's jes' naturally hard o' 
hearin'. 

Green (to Brown aside). Shut up! Ah'm de doctor. 
(To Grey.) Ah also make de discovery dat yo' heartbeats. 
Am Ah right or wrong? 

Grey. Yo' am right. Ah mus' be gettin' along. Good 
day. 

Green (grabs him). No, yo' don't. Yo' jes' wait a 
second. We gotta look in de book. (Green and Brown 
rush to table and get book, flop dozun on floor, turn leaves 
rapidly. Grey, zvith trumpet to car, gazes curiously at 
them.) 

Brown. Weak, weak heart, weak heart. Nex' week — 
no, weak heart. Say, yo' sure he has a heart? 

Green. Sure. Ah done heah it beat. 

Brown. Maybe dat was his watch. 

Green. Heah 'tis, heah 'tis. (Reads.) "For weak heart 
try massage." Say, what's massage? 

Brown. Ah don't know, but let's try it on him. (They 
scramble to feet and grab Grey.) 



12 OH, DOCTOR! 

Green (thumping Grey violently on chest). Ah also 
find dat yo' has weak lungs. 

Grey (trumpet to ear). Hey? 

Green (yells in trumpet). Yo' sliould go West fo' yo' 
lungs. 

Grey. Do yo' think Ah'll find mah lungs out West? 

Brown. Ah, what's de use? De only thing dat'll do him 
any good is massage. (They bend Grey over the back of 
a chair, Green gets slap-stick and zvields it vigorously on 
seat of Grey'^ trousers. He yells loudly. They finally yank 
him to his feet.) 

Green (exhausted with his efforts). Thar! Yo' done all 
cured now. Ten dollars, please. 

Grey (indignantly). What kind o' treatment am dat? 

Brown. Dat's what may be termed in medical classics, 
slapereetis. 

Grey. Well, thar wasn't nothin' the mattah wid me, 
and Ah refuse to pay yo'. 

Green. Den what the thunder did yo' come in heah fo'? 

Grey (trumpet to ear). Hey? 

Green (yells). What did yo' come in heah. fo'? 

Grey. Oh, Ah come in to thank de doctor. 

Brown. Thank de doctor fo' what? 

Grey. Fo' curin' me of deafness in de ears. Good day. 
(Exits C. D. Green and Brown look blankly at each other, 
then drop weakly into chairs.) 

Brown (dismally). And we don't gits no money from 
him, nuther. 

Green (groans) . Oh, Lord ! 

Brown (laughing) . By golly, we dad a lot of fun wid 
dat slapereetis, anyhow. 

Green. Dat's so. De next one dat comes in we'll give 
em de slapereetis. We don't seem to gits much money, 
but we has a plenty fun. (Door bell rings. Green con- 
ceals himself back of screen.) 

Brown. Say, give me a chance dis time. Ah wants to 
realize de joy of applyin' de slapereetis treatment. 

Green. All right, Birmie. Yo' kin do it dis time. 



OH, DOCTOR! 13 

Brown (at C. D.). Come right in. De Doctor's expec- 
toratin' yo'. 

Enter Arabella Snow. Green almost knocks screen 
over in his surprise, while Brown rushes to hook on floor 
and madly turns over leaves. 

Green {to Brown, aside). Nevah mind de book; git 
busy wid de slapereetis. 

Brown. Go on, man. Dat's all right for a he, but she's 
a she. 

Green. Go ahead. Didn't yo' say yo' wanted de delight 
of applyin' de slapereetis to de next person what entered? 

Arabella {haughtily). Ah came in heah fo' treatment, 
sah. Where am de doctor? 

Brown. Lady, yo' am gwine fo' ter git treatment all 
right. But Ah 'spects Ah bettah call de regular doctor. 
Yo' see, lady, Ah ain't a regular doctor; Ah'm jes' a vol- 
unteer. {Calls.) Oh, Doctor, Doctor. Lady heah, Doctor. 
(Green comes from hack of screen — sa^ne huslness as he- 
fore.) 

Arabella {to Green). Ah Doctor. Ah'm a very sick 
person. Do yo' all think yo' kin cure me? (Brown picks 
up slap-stick; conceals it from Arabella.) 

Green {motions to Brown not to use it). Sure, lady; 
we cures 'em all. 

Brown {business ivitJi slap-stick). Yo' bet we does. 

Green {to Brown). Professor, did yo' feel de lady's 
purse? 

Arabella. Purse ? 

Green. Excuse me. Ah meant pulse. 

Brown. No, sah ; Ah didn't feels her purse. Ah'm jes' 
gittin' de treatment ready. {Business zvith stick.) 

Green. What seems ter be de actual reason why dey 
let yo' live? 

Arabella. Well, Doctor, Ah'm awfully thin. 

Green. Ah kin see dat all right. If yo' close one eye, 
Ah'd sure take yo' fer a needle. 

Arabella. Yo' see, Ah'm a society lady — 



14 OH, DOCTOR! 

Brown. Yes — society fer de preventation of cruelty to 
animals. (Business zvith stick.) 

Arabella. And in society, yo' know, we am obliged ter 
talk a great deal and to dance all de newest dances. 

Green. Aha! Yo' talk and dance a great deal? 

Arabella. Yes, sah ; sometimes Ah talk and dance all 
night long. 

Green. Ah see. Yo' got de foot and mouth disease. 

Arabella (faintly). Oh, land of goodness! 

Brown (takes hold of back part of Arabella's skirt, 
an apron-like piece which is loose and can easily be 
moved). Lady, yo' got yer wind-shield on in der wrong 
place. (Moves it from back to front. Business with stick, 
swinging it back and forth.) 

Arabella. Why, Ah never received such treatment bef o' 
in all mah life. 

Brown. Lady, we ain't started yet. 

Arabella. How many calls do yo' think Ah'll have ter 
make heah? 

Brown (business with stick). Jes one, lady; jes dis one. 
(Brown applies the slap-stick, Arabella screams, turns 
and dashes out C. D., pursued by Brown, still vigorously 
swinging stick.) 

Enter Norfolk Black from opposite side of door just 
in time to receive a whack from the stick. He howls with 
pain, then comes down stage, yelling and hopping on one 
foot. Brown and Green follozv him, ludicrously imitating 
his hopping and yelling. 

Black. Oh, Doctor, Doctor! Ah'm in terrible agony. 
Do somethin' fo' me. 

Green. We'll do dat all right. Jes' whar does yo' feel 
de mostest pain? 

Black (indicating bandaged limb). Right thar, Doctor; 
right thar. 

Green (to Brown). Poor man. He must suffer some- 
thin' terrible. 

Brown. Yes, de poor old man. 

Black. Ah got de gout. Doctor. 



OH, DOCTOR! 15 

Brown. He wants to go out. 

Green. Nothin' of de kind. He's got de gout. 

Brown. Look in de book. 

Green. No, sah. Ah done looks in dat book till Ah 
knows everythin' in it. Ah kin cure 'em now without de 
book. (Grabs cane from Black and zvhacks the piece of 
zvood on his bandaged leg. Black hozvls in apparent pain 
and jumps about.) 

Brown {laughs uproariously) . Poor old man! We sure 
does feel sorry fo' him. 

Black. Doctor, what yo 'think de mattah wid mah leg? 

Green {professional manner). Oh, jes' old age, dat's all. 

Black. Old age? How yo' figure old age is de mattah 
wid dis leg? Mah other leg is as old as dis one, and dere 
ain't no pain in dat one. 

Brown {to Green). Doctor, let's operate on de patient. 
Dere's only one cure fo' a bum leg — cut it off. 

Green. Dat's a good idea. Get busy. {They violently 
grab Black, riish him to table and throzu him bodily on it, 
zvhile he yells loudly, ''Oh Doctor!" Green gets a large 
butcher knife from under table and strops it on leg of 
table. Brown gets hatchet and hacks Black's bandaged 
leg, then drives a nail in the block of zvood. Green takes 
out the otJier tools and drops them zvith a crash to -floor. 
Black raises to sitting posture and looks in affright at 
tools.) Professor, does yo' think we should chloroform 
de patient? 

Brown. No, Doctor; de sure way am to cremate him 
when he ain't lookin'. (Black yells ''Oh, Doctor!" and 
attempts to escape from them, but they force him back on 
table. Green, zvith sazv, cuts bandages on leg and unzvinds 
them. Black continues to yell "Oh, Doctor!" Green and 
Brown nozv grasp Black's trousers — one at either leg — 
and yank them from him, displaying BLACKfs comedy 
under garments. Black, zvith another loud yell, leaps 
from table, rushes to back flat and plunges head foremost 
through a paper zvindozv therein. Brown and Green rush 
to windozv and look out and dozvn.) 

Green. Lord, man, he's cured all right. 



16 OH, DOCTOR 

Brown {laughing). Look at him run. He ain't got no 
mo' gout den a rabbit. 

Mrs. Squash {off R., yells). Doctor, Doctor, let me 
in — quick! (Brown and Green dash to C. D. and look off 
R., then turn and dash madly to screen and conceal them- 
selves hack of it.) 

Enter Mrs. Squash, C. D. She carries a red lantern. 
Picture in doorzvay for an instant while Green and Brown 
peek about edge of screen at her. 

Mrs. Squash. Ah nevah had mah modesty so much 
shocked in all mah life. 

Green {to Brown). Mah goodness, look at de crowd. 
(Mrs. Squash stands on one foot.) 

Brown. Yes, and look at de crowd standin' on one 
foot — dat's somethin' ter see. 

Mrs. Squash {comes down to C). Ah wonder where 
dat doctor man am. 

Brown {to Green). Dat's yo'. Go on out. 

Green {to Brown). Ah herewith, resign mah profes- 
sional incapacity in yo' favor. 

Mrs. Squash {angrily). Doctor, yo' all better come 
heah! (Brown shoves Green from hack of screen to C. 
and shields himself hehind him. Green approaches her in 
comedy cautious manner. Brown prodding him. along.) 

Brown. Heah's de Doctor, lady. 

Mrs. Squash. Ah sure am mighty glad to see yo, Doc- 
tor. Has yo' got any anti-fat? 

Green {puzzled for an instant). Yes, lady. Ah got a fat 
auntie, but she ain't as fat as yo' by some several pounds. 

Brown {indicates lantern). Pardon me — pardon me, 
mah deah lady, but why does yo' carry dat red lantern? 

Mrs. Squash. Oh, dat?' Yo' see, when Ah goes out 
at night Ah has to light dis heah red lantern. 

Green. What fo'? 

Mrs. Squash. Fo' ter show dat de street Ah am walkin* 
on is closed to traffic. How 'bout somethin' fo' mah. fat? 

Green. Yo' don't need anythin' fo' yo' fat; Lordy, 
lady, yo' all fat 'nough. now. 



OH, DOCTOR! 17 

Brown (runs to sideboard and grabs bottle of pills). 
Let's try dese on her, Doctor. (Returns with pills.) 

Green. Good idea. We tried everythin' in de place but 
dem. (Gets funnel. To Mrs. Squash.) Now, lady, yo' 
jes' take a seat and we'll do de rest. 

Mrs. Squash (anxiously). Yo' sure. Doctor, dat de 
pill will make me thin? 

Green. Ah'll stake mah professional animosity dat 
dey'll make yo' somethin', but Ah don't know what. 
(Brown grabs her, forces her head back, Green places 
funnel in her mouth and pours pills from bottle. She 
screams, tlirozvs out both arms and Green and Brown 
go sprazvling to floor. She places both hands on her zvaist- 
line, runs once about the stage and then off C. D., yelling 
''Oh, Doctor!" Green and Brown sit up and stare at 
each other in amazement. A revolver shot is heard off C. 
Green and Brown dash to C. D. and look off R.) 

Brown. Good Lord ! Dat lady bust herself into a mil- 
lion pieces. 

Green (7'uns to bottle, picks it up and looks at label). 
No wonder she bust. Ah done give her anti-thin 'stead of 
anti-fat. Heah's where Ah done resign mah doctor job. 
(Discards dressing gozvn and skidl-cap.) 

Quack (off R.). I'll see about that. Where are they? 

Oh, where are they? Sam! Birmingham! (Brown and 

Green gaze zvildly about them, then make a rush and hide 

behind screen. Very quick action from nozv on till curtain.) 

Enter Quack, CD. 

Quack (calls angrily). Birmingham! Sam! You ras- 
cals ! Come here at once. (Picks up dressing gozvn and 
skull-cap, takes off his street clothes and dons gozvn and 
cap. Calls loudly for the tzvo servants.) 

Loud shouts off stage, back C. and R., then enter Black, 
White, Grey and the tzvo zvenches. 

Arabella. Whar is he? Whar is he? 

Mrs. Squash (pointing at Quack). Thar he be — thar 
he be! (They all grab Quack, he protesting and declaring 
that a mistake has been made, and throzv him bodily on 



i 



18 OH, DOCTOR! 

table. Mrs. Squash gets a slap-stick and ivields it vigor- 
ously on Quack's anatomy. The others all dance about in 
wild glee. Brown and Green^ who have been looking over 
the top of screen enjoying the spectacle, fall zvith the screen 
to the floor. Their former victims pounce on them, rush 
them to table and proceed to administer justice in the shape 
of everything they have received themselves, and it is shozvn 
to the audience that there is still more coming to them as 
the curtain descends.) 

Curtain. 



Denisoii*s Vaudeville Sketches 

**A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market, ^^ 
Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

O'TOOLE'S BATTLE OF ANTE -UP.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Gil- 
hooley wishes O'Toole to marry his daughter. To capture her 
heart they invent a story of how O'Toole saved her father's life 
in the battle of Ante-up. She puts to rout the scheming old 
rascals and marries Timmy, her true Irish boy. It is a fusillade 
of Irish wit and repartee. 

THE POOH BAH OF P E AC ETOWN.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 2 females. Time, 35 minutes. Joshua 
is Justice of the Peace, Mayor, Insurance Agent, Attorney, Ex- 
press Agent and Postmaster of a small village. Contains a quaint 
sermon on the "divorce question." It is a decided novelty, with 
an atmosphere of humor that will warm and delight the coldest 
audience. 

THE TIME TABLE.— Vaudeville sketch, by George Totten 
Smith; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Mr. and Mrs. Jangle 
have missed the train. The naturalness of their ill-tempered 
cross-fire will make one feel that he has intruded upon the pri- 
vacy of a family jar and that he should suppress his mirth in fear 
of being noticed and accused of eavesdropping. 

THE TRAMP AND THE ACTRESS.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
Charles Ulrich; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. An actress, 
home on a vacation, is surprised by a tramp who attempts to 
rob the house. She simulates madness and thwarts his object. 
A dramatic incident abounding with comedy. 

WIVES WANTED IN SQUASH VI LLE.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
O. E. Young; 3 males. Time, 30 minutes. Arthur Alger, a city 
chap out hunting, kills Benjamin Butterby's ox. To escape the 
infuriated rustic, he runs into Solomon Simple's house and hastily 
dons woman's dress. In this absurd disguise he finally escapes 
from the two love-sick old rubes, Solomon and Benjamin, who 
are the typical stage "b'gosh farmers." Mr. Young's plays are 
all full of ginger and go. 

Who's a Coward 

By KATHARINE KAVANAUGH. 

Price, 25 Cents. 

Comedy; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. A young wife 
accuses her husband of being a coward and to prove her point 
arranges with a friend to play burglar and break into their home. 
The husband, to vindicate himself, makes a similar arrangement 
with one of his chums. A real thief appears, and both thinking 
him to be their friend disguised, aid him in escaping with their 
valuables. Dippy Hogan, the crook, is a scream and will rob any 
audience of its gloom. 

Countess Kate 

By KATHARINE KAVANAUGH. 

Price, 25 Cents. 

A playlet; 3 males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. Two college 
chaps assist Countess Kate, a noted jewel thief, to escape from 
the police. She convinces them that the detective, who has her 
cornered, is her husJ^and who has suddenly become insane, and 
after she gets awav they are convinced that they have been two 
genuine "boobs." 'This beautiful and clever lady "Raffles" has an 
irresistible charrn. Dramatic, humorous and lively. Played a suc- 
cessful season in vaudeville. 
T. S. DEMSON & COMPANY, 134 W, Randolph SU Chicago 



I 


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DEN I SONS ^v"" 
VAUDEVILLE 


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PICKLES t 
FOR TWO 


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Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

For Male Characters 

Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE COMING CHAMPION.— Colored sketch 
with a burlesque boxing taiout, by Harry L. New- 
ton. 2 males. Scene: A restaurant. A black 
waiter and a mulatto fight promoter. A twenty 
minute "go" in which hurior wins in a cyclone 
finish. 

A DUTCH COCKTAIL.— Vaudeville talking 
act, by Harry L. Newton;. 2 males. Time, 20 
minutes. Wienerwurst and Schmerekaze con- 
coct a Dutch mixture that will tickle the most 
exacting and fun-craving palate. 

FIVE MINUTES FROM YELL COLLEGE.— Dutch, rapid-fire 
talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. 'Time, 15 minutes. 
Jack Schmaltz, who got the learning, and hm uncle, who paid 
for it. A ludicrous investigation into the vai^ue of higher edu- 
cation. 

FOR REFORM. — Political satire for a singing quartette, by Harry 
Li. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. The boss, the wa-rd 
heeler, the reform candidate and the office boy^ The wheels of 
this political machine are lubricated with real hurnor. 

THE LITTLE RED SCHOOL HOUSE.— A bur^-sque sketch on 
education for a singing ciuartette, by Harry L. l'^ewton; 4 males. 
Time, 2(j minutes. Heine Picklebrodt, the German teacher. John- 
nie Redd, the bad boy. Willie Green, the nice boy. Ikey Gold- 
silver, the Hebrew boy. A school where scholars and mirth run 
rampage, heeding not the teacher's rules. Any number of songs 
can be introduced. 

OSHKOSH NEXT WEEK.— A sketch for a singing quartette, by 
Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. Three hungry 
young actors without money waiting for next week's engagement 
and an. ingenious bell boy, who injects enough action and humor 
into the situation, to keep their thoughts from dwelling long on 
home and ham and eggs well done. Any number of songs can 
be introduced. 

AN OYSTER STEW. — A rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. 
Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 10 minutes. Dick 
Tell, a knowing chap. Tom Askit, not so wise. This act is filled 
to overflowing with lightning cross-fires, pointed puns and hot 
retorts 

PiCKLES FOR TWO.— Dutch rapid-fire talking act, by Harry 
L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Hans, 
a German mixer. Gus, another one. Unique ludicrous Dutch 
dialect, interspersed with rib-starting witticisms. 

THE RECRUITING OFFICE.— Vaudeville talking act, by Harry 
L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Irish comedians, "rough 
and straight." A laughing novelty with just enough plot to make 
the hinges work smoothly. 

A SPECIAL SALE.— Jew sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. 
Time, 15 minutes. Anson, a pawnbroker, sells Solomon a coat at 
a reduction. Save up your laughter for this sale. 

TWO JAY DETECTIVES. — A rural riot of comedy, by Harry L. 
Newton; 3 males. Time, 15 minutes. Two correspondence school 
detectives, a busy landlord, ludicrous clues and humorous deduc- 
tions. The shadowing and the investigations of these Reubens un- 
cover some real mirth. 

THE UMBRELLA MENDER.— Vaudeville act. by Harry L. New- 
ton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Beginning with a shower and 
ending in a downpour of Jew jokes and Irish gags. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price 15 Cehts Each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



M. F. 

Documentary Evidence, .^5 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min.. 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 -lin 4 

For Love and Honor, 2 J min,. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 3U min.... 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at Ail, 25 riiin. 3 2 

Initiating a Grange-, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddlei. 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? ,20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Ct Jrtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fa"cy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Fook Agen<-. "^0 

min 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... 4 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr. . . . 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea. 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min . 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min. -. , 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith, the Aviator, 40 min... 2 3 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes. 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Tliir.g, 45 

min 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min . 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min. . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake. 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marrv? 20 min. 2 8 

Who Is Who? 40 min 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Raby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES. MON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

M. V. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 3 
Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 ni.l4 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell Col- 
lege, 1 5 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min . . 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min..... 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Tum, 30 min 4 3 

Little R"ed School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 I 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 I 

Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min. 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Recruiting Office, 15 min 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 1 min . . 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 

15 min 1 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min. 5 1 



A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Pubiishers,154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



POPULAR ENTERTAINI 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers,{ 



, I puasocuiTr i t 

LITTLE PEOM.rS 
PLAYS/ 




r.J.DENISON 

& COMPANY 

mUSHERS CHICAGO 



IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Brand new, original, successful, 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 
Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of master minds. 




The Pc 017 401 116 

For reading or spealcmg.: 
Pomes ov the Peepul. 

Wit, humor, satire, funny poems. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, p r o sjc. 
' " No. S 



poetry. 14 Nos., per 

DRILLS 



25c, 



The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags- 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago t 



